Resolutions

Looking back over the last year, my blogging efforts have been dismal.  In a perfect world, this would not be the case.  I can honestly say that procrastination has been a close friend over the course of this past year.  I’ve put off grading, recording lectures, and cleaning out junk in my house. Heck, I’ve even procrastinated in my reading—and I love to read! 

Truthfully, there are many reasons people procrastinate.  Some of these reasons are legitimate; we simply can’t control some things.  Even these situations that are out of our control give us a sense of guilt.  Why can’t we control all the circumstances in our life?  That would happen in a perfect world.  Some reasons for procrastination are not legitimate.  We simply don’t do what needs to be done.  We’re busy (that again!); we’re distracted; we’re tired; we’re simply not interested. 

Every year I resolve to do better, and this year is no exception.  So, this year:

I resolve to be more faithful in my devotional time.  This is one area in which I’m already relatively faithful.  Typically, I get up around 5:00 a.m. most days (translated to mean week days, more specifically week days during the semester).  I pour a cup of coffee, my Bible, and my devotional Streams in the Desert.  The next half hour is spent in prayer and reading scripture and my devotional. This sounds great, but many mornings I find myself rushing through my scripture reading.  The result is that I have no real recollection of the scripture I’ve just read. This year, I resolve to savor scripture, even if I read fewer verses and chapters.  I want God’s word to sink deep into the chambers of my heart.  I also resolve not to allow my devotional time to fall apart between semesters and during the summer.  The lure of sleeping later on holidays is difficult to overcome.  It’s not really the sleeping later that’s a problem; it’s that voice that says “It’s already 8:00 a.m.; there’s no real time for prayer and scripture.”  That is not the voice of God, and I resolve to ignore that voice this year.

I resolve to be more faithful in my church attendance.  The truth of the matter is that the past couple of years have been fraught with health issues.  It seemed as though someone was always ill, resulting in a missed church service.  I’ve also allowed the fact that I’ve procrastinated in grading to be the cause of missing church.  When grading piles up, I have to catch-up; that catch-up time usually occurs on Sunday. 

I resolve to be more consistent in keeping current with my work.   This will be my most difficult challenge.  I always intend to stay current with my grading, but it just never seems to happen.  I always end up with a mountain of assignments to grade.  Falling behind in grading is compounded by the fact that I’m also a slow grader.  I simply can’t bring myself to simply slap a grade on a paper; I feel that I must read every word and make comments on each paper.  While I may not gain any speed in grading, I resolve to be more consistent in the time I spend grading.  Perhaps if I spend at least a few minutes every day, I can keep the mountain from getting completely out of control.

I resolve to be more consistent with my reading. Frankly, I’m appalled that this should be considered as a resolution because I love to read.  For far too long, though, I’ve pushed my love of reading aside.  There was always a myriad of reasons to forego my love:  I was working on my doctorate, I had things to grade, I needed to read “academic” things.  I always regarded reading something I loved as a guilty pleasure; I felt I should be doing something more important—like grading. 

I resolve cook more.  I love to cook, but, once again, I pushed this aside because I was “busy” with other things.  However, ignoring this resolution can have deadly consequences.  I firmly believe our health is connected to the things we eat, so cooking healthy meals really isn’t an option.  This year, my goal is try new recipes that help bring health to my family.

I resolve to exercise more consistently.  I always have good intentions when it comes to exercising.  My husband even bought me a very nice treadmill.  Unfortunately, procrastination once again rears its ugly head and tells me that I don’t have time to get on the treadmill.  This year, I plan to begin a consistent walking regime. 

I resolve to do the things I love more consistently.  In a perfect world, this would be a simple task.  I would have plenty of time to stay current with my teaching and grading responsibilities and still have time to read, play the piano, and dabble in watercolors.  While this is not really realistic, my goal is to at least carve some time for these hobbies.  Life is simply too short not to do the things we love.

Will I be able to keep all these resolutions?  Probably not.  In a perfect world, I would keep all the resolutions I’ve made in the coming year.  However, in the imperfect world in which we live, the real tragedy is not failing to keep the resolutions, but in not making them and accepting the apathy.  I resolve to more closer to a perfect world.